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To help adults and children understand psychology.



Step Two, Lessen Fear and Increase Empathy

Posted on June 12, 2013 at 9:45 PM


Step two, is to control our fears and increase our love and cooperation with others, to build relationships, businesses, and families. The fear of fear is the greatest of fears. It escalates anxiety which spins out of control and sends us into our Lower Natures of lies, greed, blaming, and bullying. Love and empathy decrease and and we are no longer as creative and productive as we could be.


Fears can be calmed by a better belief system, faith and optimism. Sometimes it does not matter if the faith is false, it leads to calmness and better thinking. But if we invest too much is fantasy that does not teach us how to live we will again crash. Step three will touch on how to pick beliefs.


I can not emphasize too much to be each others servants. Servants are not slaves, they get a wage, they take pride in their work. A good servant anticipates what his employer wants and needs and makes life easier for them, maybe not financially but certainly by making life easier so they can concentrate on building their careers. If we do that for each other life becomes easier as they do it for us too. With less useless and distractive conflict we have more time and energy to concentrate on things that will work. Lower Nature fights get us not where but into trouble. Empathy can guide us into what will work with others.


How do we get empathy? First is humbleness, to admit we are not the all knowing directors of others. Like the twelve steps in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) we first must admit we have flaws. This will open up our minds and hearts to better observe. Our perceptions will begin to improve, we will better see how others operate, and we will gain wisdom, each in our own way. We will grow in empathy and personal emotional stability.


Basically, next we need to look into our past and see what in our childhood we feared, what was it that plunged us into our Lower Nature, even if it is just blaming others, what made us defensive and unrealistic about who we are.  You may want to do this step with writing a biography of "What I wanted to tell my parent(s) or caretakers but was afraid to." Or you may want to consult with a counselor, such as myself, to help guide you to those old nagging fears and wasteful habits. This will free you up to be more empathetic. Lack of empathy and too much fear handicaps us. 


Some people are born without the ability to be empathetic. But the next step, Beliefs, can guide them. I will touch on that subject next.


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Reply Friereife
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