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THE MAKING OF A COUNSELOR This is the story of a life time struggle after a near death illness that left me at six years old handicapped. It is the story of a struggle to try to regain what was lost or to try and compensate, to try with much effort to do the things others were doing with ease. This struggle lead me to be a counselor and to help others with or without handicap to live happier and reach out to do more. It is the story of unsung hero's that helped me.
Start at the bottom and work your way up to the lastest post.
|Posted on July 24, 2013 at 12:10 PM||comments (2036)|
Beliefs need to use all of our altruistic instincts for group survival. If our group is handicapped so are we. WWII was a very handicapping experience and took the lives of around sixty million people. The group handicapped them to death. People had seen the death and destruction from WWI and felt trapped in the treaties that resulted. The treaties handicapped the economic and future of Germany. They felt they had to fight back to regain their land. They also were at...Read Full Post »
|Posted on July 4, 2013 at 10:45 AM||comments (658)|
The third step of the brain is to take what has been perceived, what has been feared and desired and make a plan to avoid or approach the impending situation. It takes a lot of knowledge of the environment, tactics, and possible outcomes to make a plan that will work smoothly and yield results we want.
There are different ways to organize our knowledge. We may use scientific thinking which works well with concrete details. But for emotions it is harder. We ten...Read Full Post »
|Posted on June 12, 2013 at 9:45 PM||comments (165)|
Step two, is to control our fears and increase our love and cooperation with others, to build relationships, businesses, and families. The fear of fear is the greatest of fears. It escalates anxiety which spins out of control and sends us into our Lower Natures of lies, greed, blaming, and bullying. Love and empathy decrease and and we are no longer as creative and productive as we could be.
Fears can be calmed by a better belief system, faith and optimism. Som...Read Full Post »
|Posted on May 23, 2013 at 10:40 AM||comments (172)|
How do we improve our perception? It is effected by our emotions, beliefs, and habits. They tell us what to look for. This causes great bias. To improve our perceptions we need to neutralize these for the moment to see, hear, smell, touch, and taste what is really out there and where and in what combinations. Then we will look at how they are interrelated, interact, and change.
Ethnography is the science of observation. It should be used before we jump to ...Read Full Post »
|Posted on April 26, 2013 at 4:30 PM||comments (187)|
Our brains go through a feedback loop. First we perceive the world though our senses, sight and hearing being in the back and then back sides of the brain. From there it goes to the middle brain where emotions are and we become afraid of or want to approach what we have seen and head. Animals, of course, are mainly looking at if it is to avoid or eat it. Next stop is the frontal lobes where we plan how to avoid or approach. Last it goes to the top of the head where operation of the body is ex...Read Full Post »
|Posted on April 18, 2013 at 10:55 PM||comments (124)|
I am going to address how we can improve ourselves and our handicaps or how to get around them and those of our communities. How we can find and nurture our unsung heroes and become one ourselves. The making of a counselor is no different then the making of a productive, growing, creative person. The city is a conglomeration of individuals made up of personalities, groups of various personalities make up our agencies, schools, and businesses.
Every last one of...Read Full Post »
|Posted on April 11, 2013 at 10:15 PM||comments (2245)|
Public schools have a real handicap that is severe in the crime neighborhoods. As I said before, the teachers can not mix with the community. If they do they can loose their influence in the classroom because their reputation can go sour. But the non teacher personnel belong to the community. When they get into positions that affect students they can influence the students in a positive or negative way. If it is a well educated community they can be a real asset and help students...Read Full Post »
|Posted on April 4, 2013 at 9:20 AM||comments (672)|
Groups of people are made up different personalities and personality disorders. These personalities combine and create a group personality. If the individuals in the group are all antisocial then the group personality is antisocial. If the group is a combination of antisocial and very social people the personality of the group depends on which personality is dominant. Dominance can be from a consensual permission from the others, by their dominant natures, or from fear the leader,installs i...Read Full Post »
|Posted on March 26, 2013 at 10:35 PM||comments (161)|
Schools go through about a ten year cycle. They are governed by government mandates and limits that slows down change and traditions that were built into the system to prevent the public from changing them. Mental Health agencies have similar inflexible rules from government regulations and directors are inflexible to change. Also they both are out of touch with neighborhoods as they do not mingle with them. They have to be professional and so they can not let down their hair and interact wit...Read Full Post »
|Posted on March 20, 2013 at 10:40 PM||comments (275)|
As I said before, I had three jobs, one as a family counselor with an old well established agency, the second working with sex offenders, and the third with Native Americans. I was not prepared by college for the deep and width of the problems I found in poor neighborhoods, and families that for generations have had too much drama or drugs and alcohol. Domestic Violence and neglect was wide spread. But worst of all is the predators that prey on these neighborhoods. Crime and drug dealers who ...Read Full Post »
|Posted on February 28, 2013 at 11:15 PM||comments (481)|
You learn many useful things when you are handicapped that is of value through life. You learn to keep going when you feel uncomfortable. You learn to respect others, even if they criticize you, because you realize they are handicapped in their attitudes. You learn to appreciate little things, and to enjoy the roses. You notice more patterns then a lot of people do, you have to, and it helps you understand a lot of things. You are less bored because observation is a never ending game, and alo...Read Full Post »
|Posted on February 19, 2013 at 11:15 PM||comments (133)|
About the time you begin to feel comfortable with Child Protective Services (CPS), you are doing everything they want you to, they have promised to return your children in a timely manner, or you think they have, you get a new worker and its back to step one. They may not even like you, and threaten to never return your children. Did I mention you should hire a really good lawyer if you can afford it? There are always bumps in the road and lawyers familiar with the agency can help you live th...Read Full Post »
|Posted on February 8, 2013 at 1:50 PM||comments (84)|
What should we do when we are handicapped? We need to rethink everything. Our usual thoughts are the average thoughts that people think, how they see the world. But we see, feel, think, and do things a bit differently. To see the difference between us and others can give us some extra advantages, more insights, and more insights can give us more alternative actions and reactions. If we all realize we are handicapped when we do not know the politics of any situations then we begi...Read Full Post »
|Posted on February 8, 2013 at 1:35 PM||comments (101)|
When a Child Protective Service (CPS) worker takes your child because of suspected abuse the last thing you want to do is get defensive and offensive. Stop and look at the workers perspective. It is hard to even think about doing but it is very vital. Put yourself in their shoes, you go to someone's home to take their children. That is very unnatural, you will feel defensive as you know the parents will be. Both of you will be at a heightened emotional state and very defensive.Read Full Post »
|Posted on January 31, 2013 at 3:35 AM||comments (1995)|
There is nothing so heart wrenching then to be caught up in the politics of Child Protective Services (CPS), when child abuse is suspected they may take someone's children and place them in a foster home. If they feel they have proven abuse they may keep your children for two years or never return them. If the children are tiny the chances go up that they will keep them and adopt them out. Our children do not belong to us but first to the state, unless we treat our children with their legal r...Read Full Post »
|Posted on January 22, 2013 at 11:25 PM||comments (149)|
But, again, the politics can be even worse as I found out later, at the third job. We are not taught in college about the specifics of politics. But like all human behaviors they have to be analyzed, categorized, and understood to avoid being controlled by them, especially when it can hurt your client. Clients are unaware of counseling politics or find it hard to see them clearly, so we have to protect them from it. To do that we need to know how it affects us and our out look on society beca...Read Full Post »
|Posted on January 16, 2013 at 11:10 AM||comments (235)|
I knew I could not compete for a supervisory position because of the extra paperwork. But I loved hands on counseling. I could of became a licensed psychologist and gotten much more money but again, it would of been a lot of report writing and for the courts. And I could not have been honest, as to be competitive required loyalty more to a group of people making political decision then to be loyal to the purity of the profession, of helping people better their lives.
One t...Read Full Post »
|Posted on January 9, 2013 at 5:10 PM||comments (146)|
When I graduated, I took on three part time jobs, one full time, the other two ten to twenty hours a week. I was a new counselor and very idealistic, I wanted to keep up high standards. What a shock I was in for.
On one job they did mostly family counseling. Yes, I needed some additional theory beyond what I had received. That would of been wonderful, interesting, and productive. But to teach me they had me sit in with a master level counselor, which in itself would of bee...Read Full Post »
|Posted on January 3, 2013 at 10:25 AM||comments (96)|
I did not know what to expect on the final step, a meeting with faculty that determines if you get the degree you spent years to prepare and complete. Like the prelims, four days of testing, I did not know what to expect. What could go wrong? It would last about two to four hours. I was petrified. I never heard of not passing and being able to try again. It might be possible, I did not know. I was at the mercy of others whims, not a good feeling when you fail at common easy tasks...Read Full Post »
|Posted on December 25, 2012 at 10:05 PM||comments (63)|
My advisor would send back my disertation with corrections. I would make them and send it back. It always came back with more. I started to notice that a lot of them were the same corrections, he would say to spell it this way, then that way, then the way it was spelled the first time. It was an enless game of ping pong, only the ball was grammar and spelling, or the where comas go.
I knew that I had to figure out why the game playing. My first move was to go the Ethno...Read Full Post »